You've got your first warning from me. Pick which account you want to keep considering you are using multiple accounts. If you don't pick, I'll assume this one is the one you want to delete.
2014 is going to be a good year. More content, more streamlining. Be a part of history!
HEY your jesus character is pretty damn stupid if you ask me! in FACT i want to tell you a story about jesus straight from his mouth. Thats right!!! i've met him, and he's a cunt.
So this one time i was cruisin down rodeo drive in my ferrari and jesus waves me down at a corner, and i'm like shit i can't NOT stop its for jesus! So i stop and he hops in my car, and throws my 10 supermodel wives out! i was like wtf, whatever its jesus.
He starts telling me this story about how his job is so hard and all these people are skewing his religion and i'm like dude, tell me about it. theres this guy on the ASE forums that is trying to convert everyone there into a psychopath like all the other christians! he said "man thats not cool, remind me later i'll smite them." ROFL SMITED BITCH!
Alright so we're cruisin the highways of california and hes just randomly lighting people on fire that are poorer then i am because christian ideologies ROCK when on the open road. GOD that was cool. Oops i said GOD haha i didn't mean jesus because he was just a figurehead. Oops did i type that out? So this one guy lights up like a christmas tree (oops christian reference again) and oh man what a sight to see. i just wanted to start caroling right there, but i couldn't because i didn't want to dirty my jewmobile with dirty christian guts. HEHE. Did i mention that jesus was a jew? You probably knew that already but were in complete denial because you thought CHRISTIANITY saved you when in fact, sorry to say, love you lots, but it was a jew. BLOOPS.
But keep reading because this is where the story comes in. He tell s me that long ago he went back in time to meet moses, and they were chillin and illin. this was after the ten commandments thing so jesus knew whats up. there was a big party in later day israel so he's like "i gotta hit that shit up." So he pulls out a piece and moses is like "I sayeth i dont fucketh with that shit-eth." So jesus being the prick that he was got all up in moses's business, and sorry to say, he ball tapped moses, and went on his merry way. Moses didn't like this one bit because not only did his balls hurt, but when jesus went back to his time, he said on his way out. " touched by an angel, bitch." Not COOL.
When i heard this, naturally i said to Jesus "you need to step outta the car man. It was cool seeing you light dumb christians on fire, but damn bro not cool. Maybe we can chill some other time? I need to find out where you put my supermodel wives."
He took it all in stride and we exchanged cell phone numbers. I never called him.
I'll put the pictures in links soon. You really need to think about converting yourself to dead, because your leader is a COMPLETE cock.