Dumb Laws

In Texas,

It's illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.

A recently passed anti-crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

In Clarendon, TX,

It's illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.

In Galveston, TX,

Bicycles must be operated at a "reasonable speed".

Any person who sits on a sidewalk may be fined up to $500.

One needs permission from the director of parks and recreation before getting drunk in any city park.

[where I live] Houston, TX,

It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.

Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on Monday.

In Mesquite, TX,

It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.

How about some NJ ones?

It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

You may not slurp your soup.

Bernards Township
It is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone".

Newark
It is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.

Ocean City
Pinball machines are not to be played on Sunday.

Trenton
Pickles are not to be consumed on Sundays.

Wootwoot, can I get a mad shout out for Cali, eh?

Statewide:
Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.

Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

Arcadia, CA
Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways. (Although I don't live in Arcadia, I do live in an area with peacocks and they do love to loiter in the streets. They're also quite mean)

Chico, CA
Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.

Indian Wells, CA
It is illegal for a trumpet player to play his instrument with the intention of luring someone to a store.

Drinking intoxicating cement is prohibited.

San Francisco, CA
It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.

Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.

Walnut, CA
Males may not dress as a female unless a special permit is obtained from the sheriff.

No it isn't, I go to OC a lot. I definately play them on sundays, up to 11:00PM sometimes. That's false.

Time for Maryland.

In Baltimore, it is illegal to wash or scrub sinks, no matter how dirty they get. Not a lie, my brother lives down there.

Every person who has bowled since 1833 may be fined $2 for each offence.

In Hale Thorpe, it is illegal to kiss for more than one second.

It's illegal to mistreat oysters. (No joke! Chesapeake bay.)

It's illegal to play Randy Newman's "Short People" on the radio.

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception—prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."

More in Baltimore:
It's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits.
It's illegal to take a lion to the movies.
It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt.
It is a violation of city code to sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within 1 week of the Easter holiday.
Though you may spit on a city roadway, spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited.
And, you can't curse inside the city.

And, it's illegal for a woman to go through a man's pants while he's not wearing them.

And it's against the law to give oral sex. How they enforce it, I do not know.

"Hey ... hey, you have to stop that." or like "I GOT A REPORT THAT SOMEONE HERE WAS GIVING SOME ORAL SEX!" Come on.

Some rules are so incredibly retarded.

In my homestate (Oregon)

Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.
Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays.
Dishes must drip dry.
It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property.
One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing," i.e.,that which covers one's body from neck to knee.

Beaverton
You must buy a $10 permit to be allowed to install a burglar alarm.

Eugene
It is legal to conduct a horse race or a symphony concert.
It is illegal to show movies or attend a car race on Sundays. (Repealed in the 1970s)

Hood River
Juggling is strictly prohibited without a license.

Klamath Falls
It's illegal to walk down a sidewalk and knock a snakes head off with your cane.

Portland
People may not whistle underwater.
It's against the law for a wedding ceremony to be performed at a skating rink. (Repealed in 1989)
You cannot wear roller skates in restrooms.

Marion
Ministers are forbidden from eating garlic or onions before delivering a sermon.

Myrtle Creek
One may not box with a kangaroo.

Salem
Women may not wrestle in Salem.

Springfield
It is illegal to own a reptile within the city limits, unless you are a school or city, as a pet.

Stanfield
No more than two people may share a single drink.
Cloth towel dispensers are banned from restrooms.


But of course, no one enforces this shit.